Saturday, March 31, 2012

Ang Akin Lang Eh

I'm sure, marami na ang nakakaalam sa istorya nung limang estudyante mula sa isang catholic school sa Cebu. Sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, Try niyo minsan manood ng TV Patrol, 24 Oras, Bandila o Saksi ha? Hindi yung puro Walang Hanggan, Dong Yi o Porn ang pinapanood okay?

Anyways, I heard from the grapevine that these 16 year olds were barred from attending their school's graduation rites dahil they made suot skimpy bikinis while on the beach.

The heck I care?

Mga pechay kaya sila.

Mas okay pa kung si Paulo Avelino ang makikita kong wearing nothing but his tighty whities no! Come to think of it, ano nga bang masama kung makikitang naka-swimwear ang mga dalagitang hindi pinayagang umattend ng graduation nila? Nasa tabing dagat naman sila. Mas pangit naman yata kung naka longsleeves at maong jeans sila doon, or worse, yung mga madreng thunders na ang makikita mong naka two piece di ba?

Because the parents of these girls didn't approve of the schools decision, off they went to the courts and sought an order to have these poor little kids join their commencement exercises. Nothing in the news said they tried to first appeal the school's decision. Nonetheless, these parents got what they want - the court order.

Ang problema, the school ignored the order. Nakipagmatigasan sila. Sing tigas ng mga batuta ng mga Guardo Versoza nila. Sana nandoon ako para mahagkan sila. Not the appealing guards ha? These hapless kids of course. Char!

Ngayon, sa pinaka-latest na chismis, nagpa-plano na ang mga magulang ng mga kabataang ito na magsampa ng kasong kriminal laban sa naturang paaralan. According to them, the school should have heeded the order of the court. Ayan tuloy, pumapangit na ang image ng exclusive school na ito sa mata ng madlang people. Naiimagine ko tuloy ang mga susunod na headline in the near future. Catholic School, Nagsara Dahil sa Demanda. Catholic School, Nalugi Dahil sa Bikini.

Nang Dahil sa Bikini.

Or is it just that?

Mayroon kasi akong source na pangalanan na lang nating "Google" ang nagsabi na kaya daw hindi pinayagan umattend ng graduation ang mga chikiting pechays na ito ay dahil sa nakuhanan din silang umiinom at naninigarilyo. Take note, these kids are minors. Where are the parents?

Moral of the story?

Una, i-Google muna bago magsalita.

Pangalawa, Kapag may problema kayo. Dumirecho sa husgado.

Pangatlo, Kunsintihin ang mga minor de edad na magbisyo as young as possible.

At panghuli, Si Paulo Avelino lang ang may karapatang mag-bikini sa beach. Bawal ang babae. Lalo na ang mga madre.


Request ko din po na paki-switch off ang inyong tablet, iPad, laptop, o desktop matapos basahin ito bilang pakikisali sa taunang selebrasyon ng Earth Hour. Let's help save the environment. Take part in this largest annual environmental event in the whole world! - Mark Joe, former Miss Earth. Charlot!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Not The Usual Me

One downside to being the resident comic among your friends is that sometimes they never treat you seriously even if you are going through tough times.

"Pare, na-rape ako."

"Kelan ka pa nagkaroon ng kipay? Hahaha!"

"Tol, may anak yata ako."

"Ilang buwan ka nagbuntis? Sampu? LOLs!"

Maybe I should also blame myself. I make light of every iniquitous predicament I'm in. I can make a sour situation turn sweet. I see the good in the bad. The imperfect becomes perfect. The deficient, ample.

Sometimes, when life's BS is more than enough to bear, a hearty laugh from a friend isn't enough. Sometimes, a pat on the shoulders and the words "This will pass" are all that I need to get me through.

Right now, I need the tap and the words. But a hearty laugh will still suffice. Ngayon ko lang kasi nalaman na S-L-A-M-B-O-O-K ang tamang spelling.

Akala ko SLUMBOOK. Sheemas!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Lady is Now A Daddy

All of my friends knew that I dabbled into straight relationships.

Not everyone though, especially those I met afer I came out, knows that I cohabitated with an ex for a while.

Let me give her a name - Yna. You can blame her for me being a frustrated beauty queen. Kidding aside, she was a real beauty. She was 4th runner-up at a provincial pageant in Abra. Cheap one may say, but at least she was able to compete and get a title. Her body was everything I wanted in a lady. She had all the right curves. She's like Gretchen Fulido. She loved it when I tell her she's appetizing. Ang sarap kainin.

Gorgeous body aside, She's also smart. But not as smart as me. Ching! She had pretty decent grades when she was in college, and emotionally, I guess she was smarter than me. She opened herself to others more than I did. She was the more conversational, outgoing and aventurous between us two. Come to think of it, she initiated it more that I did. I didn't know if it was me or just her hormones that triggered her to request it mostly at unimaginable places (read: public utility vans) or uncompromising situations (like: hotel room shared with friends). Every single time I'd deliver. Ehem!

Not everything was all rosy and happy for both of us though. The relationship started to fall apart when she told me that one of her male friends confessed to her his true feelings. Memories from a failed relationship that involved a third party came crawling back. That's when I began my distrust on her. I wouldn't let her go out without me, I'd let her do the laundry all by herself. I knew that words were far more devastating than physical pain. I never laid a finger on her. That was my strategy. That's how insecurity got the best out of me. The usual jolly and positive tigress turned into a scared wimpy kitten, and it was because of me.

Despite her assurance that I was the only one and that there was nothing between her and the friend, I stuck to the misguided belief that she was cheating. The vices I introduced to her became her own. She turned to nightly alcohol binges and became addicted to tobacco. I let her slip away. Eventually she gave in. We separated but still lived together.

I never stopped treating her like a bitch. I'd take my turn on her after her boyfriend leaves the house. When I got tired of the set up, I packed up my things and left her, giving her no explanations.

After few months without communication, I chanced upon her walking aimlessly along Session Road. She was drunk. I invited her to my place and had a couple more drinks. She told me that she already had another partner but she wasn't happy. I told her too that that night was the first night that I officially had a girlfriend that replaced her. That's when everything turned nasty. She started hurling invectives at me for being an ass. I couldn't care less. She was still the object that I treated like before.

In between sobs and curses, I remained indifferent. At the end of the seemingly endless rant, anger and bitterness, came the statement that struck me.

I still love you. She cried.

Maybe it was the alcohol(again). I don't know, but I started to kiss the crying lady in front of me and started to guide her body on the carpeted living room floor. We started to undress each other like there was no tomorrow. We were like a couple on a honeymoon passionately making love with each other. I remember seeing her so calm and serene while we shared what was to be our last night together. I came inside her. She said the words again, I didn't know if I said I love you back

And then the lights turned on. I didn't know that my friend whom I shared the pad with was inside. I froze. So did Yna. We pretended to be asleep. We dressed ourselves up when my friend went back to his room.

The next morning, I woke up not with her but with a painful headache and a nosy roommate who commented on something big. I just didn't know if he pertained to my junk or her rack.

The days went by too fast. I already wanted to end my relationship with my girlfriend after two consecutive forgotten monthsaries. Being with her became more of a chore. I wanted to break up with her but I couldn't. Yna was right, I was an asshole. I wanted to atone for my sins but I couldn't. I didn't know where she stayed and mutual friends wouldn't let me know any contact details. They just said that Yna was already to be married.

One day, one of our mutual friends called me. A different voice was at the other end of the line. It was Yna. She didn't answer my question when I asked her how she was. What she said was this:

"Hinding hindi mo makikita itong bata."

And then the line went dead.

Seven months after, the same number called again, this time the voice was the owner's:

"It's a boy".

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Girl is Now A Lady

I am the kind of person who likes variety. Just like everyone else, I think, I'm naturally curious. I like to try new things and explore exciting possibilities. That's why when I grew tired of being vegetarian, I tried out eating meat.

Siguro sa title at intro pa lang alam na kung ano ang aking ikukuweto sa araw na ito. Dahil naikuwento ko na ang unang pagdampi ng aking mga labi sa isang naghuhumindig na tit*, ang isasalaysay ko naman ngayon ay ang sakit na idinulot sa akin ng unang pagkakataon nang chicharong bulaklak ko'y nalamon. May sukat at tugma lang? Just can't get over the poem I wrote.

Masakit pala talaga siya. Malamang dahil nakapaskil sa pintong yun ay "Exit", hindi "Entrance". Dahil sadya din akong hindi stereotypical, hinayaan kong magpapasok sa lugar na hindi naman talaga natural na pinapasukan. At kahit hindi ko man totoong gusto, wala akong nagawa dahil mahina ako. When barbells, dumbells and weights were still foreign to me, I was just a skinny twink. Para lang akong tuyot na dahon na konting ihip lang ng hangin eh liliparin na agad.

I met John on one of the mobile chat services a phone company offers. We traded numbers and MMS's, and both agreed that we passed each other's standards. After a few days of sweet and chummy exchange of messages, we decided to personally meet. At first I felt akward because he wasn't the "manly" person I pictured him to be. Sure he was tall and muscular and all, but there was still something wrong. I guess it was with the way he talked and carried himself. I don't know. He was a bit too "faggy" for me. Homophobia is so gay ain't it?

It was a bit of a surprise for me to have accepted his offer to hang out at his place after a brief stroll in Luneta. Yes, tama ang nabasa niyo, jologs na kung jologs. Trip ko eh, wala namang basagan. Going on, Maybe because it was my first time to meet a guy and I was still not comfortable being seen with one who, for me, looked too effeminate. Maybe I wanted us to just be cooped up in a private place where no one can see us. Maybe because I liked the way our conversations went, or maybe I was just, ironically, too horny. I don't know.

We continued our conversation when we arrived at his pad. I didn't know how the topic was opened but I started sharing to him how inexperienced I was with man-to-man hoorays. Birhen pa talaga ako noon, pramis! I think I told him that I haven't been entered through the backdoor. Maybe that was his cue. That night, he turned a girl into one beautiful lady.

Unlike sa first experience ko, this time no alcohol was involved, so lahat ng sensasyon at kahayukang nangyari ay aware ako.

Aware ako kung paano niya pinilit na hubarin ang damit ko.

Aware ako kung paano maghabol ng hininga matapos ka sakalin ng may 5 minute interval.

Aware ako kung paano ako magmakaawang ayoko na dahil masakit.

Aware din ako kung paano sabihan ng masasamang salita habang tinitira't sinasampal-sampal. Di ko nga lang nabilang kung ilang beses akong nasabihan ng word na "puta".

Aware ako na hindi "beautiful lady" ang kalalabasan ko, "battered lady" na.

Most importantly, Aware din ako sa sinabi ko matapos akong babuyin. "Your turn".

He declined. Malaki daw kasi. Compared sa kanya, oo. Umuwi ako noong masakit ang puwet at puson.

What have I learned from this? It was the realization that I truly belong. Bakla nga ako. Nagustuhan ko kasi yung experience. Yun lang.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Season of Beauty

"Panahon na para i-pack up yang Armida Siguion-Reyna mo. Ilabas mo na dyan si Sam Pinto. Anak ako na bahala sa red bikini mo."

Sabi ni nanay.

In my dreams.

Summer na, bikini open at beauty pageant season na naman daw. Ikaw sino'ng bet mo?

Actually hindi ko pa nasisipat kung sino sa mga bagong kandidata ng Bb. Pilipinas ang magiging rightful at super-dooper pressured heir sa trono nila ate Venus at sister Shamcey. Gusto ko lang ibahagi sa universe na isa akong frustrated beauty queen.

One more thing, since hanggang December 21 na lang naman ang mundo, I might as well come clean. Hindi po talaga ako naging beauty queen. Never was and never will be. Frustrated lang nga eh! Sus!

I think of three reasons why I can't fulfill this dream.

Una, hindi ako pasok sa height requirement. I stopped growing kasi when I was 14. I took a medicine for UTI. Turns out, this drug isn't recommended for pubescent kids because it calcifies bones. When that happens, your growth's stunted. Lesson? Huwag mag-hooray everyday nang hindi nagkaka-UTI.

Pangalawa, anorexic kasi ako nung kabataan ko. Sinong pageant organizer ba naman ang papayag na maging ambassador of goodwill ang isang malnourished na nilalang na tulad ko? Tsaka haller! Paano ako magiging epitome of beauty kung mukha akong bungo di ba?

Lastly, I had confidence issues. I was dead scared just at the thought of speaking in front of an audience. Kaliwete kasi ako. When you're a lefty you're more prone to stammering daw. Kaya ayun hanggang ngayon, I still stutter.

Nung nakakita naman ako ng pageant na tumatanggap ng pandak, anorexic at kaliwete, biglang naging problema naman ang pagiging vegetarian ko. Hay ang pechay talaga! Hindi niya ako pinayagan sumali kasi sa kanya lang daw ako. Haba ng hair ko di ba?

The year after, when I was already single, the organizers asked me again to join the contest. Noong nasa orientation na ako ng candidates, dun ko naman nalaman ang pinakamasaklap na impormasyon. I was already over the age limit. Hindi pa ako nakakarampa sa stage, disqualified agad. The F di ba?

After that, inisip ko na lang na hindi talaga para sa akin ang pagrampa sa stage, sa Quezon Memorial Circle at Recto lang daw puwede. Di ko naman trip yung lugar, so dirty kaya.#alta

Kaya heto ako ngayon, nagmumukmok na naman. Wala na yata kasing chance to fulfill that coveted dream. Pero ayos lang. Life goes on. Marami pang ibang dreams na puwedeng i-fulfill. Puwede pa din naman akong maging ambassador of beauty kahit walang korona di ba?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Hindi Berde Ang Parang

Sampung taon na akong nagtatrabaho
wala pa rin ni isang kusing sa banko.
Ngayo'y pinag-iisipan, pilapil na tinatapakan
sadya kayang mapusyaw at kailangang lumisan?

Nag-iisang bagay na nagbibigay saya'y limot na
dahil sa pagkayod-kalabaw ng isang dekada.
Libangang magpalipad sa bukirin nitong saranggola
sabay takbo sa malawak na damuhan, magagawa ko pa ba?

Pagkaing galunggong, asin at mantika
hinahangad na maging salmon, cake at pasta.
Talaga kayang nararapat umalis sa Pilipinas
upang kalam ng sikmura'y di na muling madanas?

Ang kubong ito na puno ng kulisap,
magkaroon ng haliging bato ang aking pangarap.
Wangis ng mga tirahang aking ginagawa
Sa lungsod na matayog doon sa Maynila.

Hangad ko sana'y pumasok sa kolehiyo
matapos sa kurso't panitikan ay ituro.
Sa silid-aklatan, doon nais na akda'y lilikha
hindi ng tulay, gusali, bahay, o kahit ano pa.

Mas mayabong ang parang sa kabilang ibayo
hinuha ng ilan tulad ng kagawaran ng empleyo.
Hikahos na pamumuhay daw ay mululusaw
dahil mga inaasam at nais ay matatanaw.

Makulay na larawan ng bukas ang aking nakikita
sa napipintong paglipad sa ibang bansa.
Mga maligno ng kasalukuyan ay mapapawi na
sapagkat dala-dala ko ang sapat na pag-asa.

Kahit mga dayuha'y gawin akong alila
payag ako't sanay na, busog naman aking sikmura.
Pag-uwi'y mahalagang dolyar ang tangan
nitong bagong bayani ng pamilya't bayan.

Sa disyerto kung saan malawak ang buhangin
pagtupad sa mga pangarap ay sisimulang buuin.
Laruang saranggola nawa'y muling mapalipad ko
Sa damuhang kung saan, tingkad-berde'y kulay abo.


Lahok para sa "Bagsik ng Panitik" contest ng Damuhan

Saturday, March 17, 2012


I know there will be times that I'd snap out of the good vibes streak. I think this is one of those times. It seemed like I have been getting up on the wrong side of the bed for the past couple of days.

Arnold Clavio must have started it. Ikaw ba naman ang gumising sa umaga ng ganun kapangit ang makikita mo di ba? Add to that his remarks on Filipinos with foreign lineage. I believe it was totally uncalled for given that the real issue, he himself acknowledged, was about a different and unrelated topic.

I normally do not get affected by statements that I don't like, after all everyone's entitled to his own opinion. I think I'm just going through a stage that Ternie aptly described - Menarche. Nagdadalaga na nga ako. Pak!

I also had a misunderstanding with a friend. That rift led me to make measures which restricted the stress he's been causing. I know I also contributed to the strain he felt, or is still feeling. So blocking him on Facebook and Twitter is the logical thing to do.

Just last night, some shmuck kind of wanted to kill me too. Well, not really me because his gesture was just a heavy tap on my shoulder and a statement like "Papatayin ko ang mga bakla, Mark". I should have been scared since the remark came from an out of duty, gun-toting policeman. Instead, I was enraged because it came from a kababata.

Add to these the fact that the Azkals lost in their match against Turkmenistan. Na-red card pa si papa Neil. What else could go wrong? Hayz!

And then, this? And until april 4th?

I should stay home and be a hermit.

I'm blabbing.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Little Prayer


Itong pamilya ko naman kung makasalo lang ng sakit, parang hindi mauubusan, sus! Pero in fairness, choosy kami. Yung mga pangmatagalang gamutan at incurable ang mga kinuha. Hayst.

Nevertheless, wapakels. Hindi naman dapat kami kaawaan kasi ultimately dun din naman tayo lahat papunta. Una-unahan lang. Hehe.

Kaya everyday, think positive!

Dapat laging nagpapasalamat sa bawat araw na biyaya kaya naman naisipan kong gumawa ng isang dasal ng pasasalamat sa Dakilang Lumikha.

It goes something like this:

Dear papa God,

Salamat po sa lahat ng blessings na ipinapagkaloob mo sa pamilya ko.
Salamat po sa hyperthyrodism na inyong dala. My heart won't race and skip a bit without you.
Salamat din po sa asthma ni tatay. Dahil diyan, You always take his breath away.

I thank you too for never failing to provide blessings every single day,
You're sweet. Sing tamis ng diabetic na dugo nila nanay at tatay.
Kaya naman nanay always shivers sa pagkakilig at every thought of you.

Muli po, salamat ng marami.


Mark Joe

Salamat po at gumaling sa prostatitis si kuya.

Monday, March 12, 2012

My Future Babe

I'm still preoccupied with the thought of lesbianism until now. Lalo na't nasa news si Charice ngayon. I'm not saying she is ha? I still need to hear from the butch's mouth before I can safely confirm that she is.

I'm thinking, when I renounce my unequalled femininity to become a tiborcia again, How will she look like? Why will I like her? What will make me choose "her" over "him"?

Let me take you to my wild, and hopefully accurate imagination, of my ideal girl. Pangalanan natin siyang Stella.

I like boobs. Not on me, you silly! eee! Siyempre, kay Stella. Ano bang pinag-uusapan? Ideal girl di ba? Ayun, Schizo lang. Anyways, aside from that, physically I want a girl that's taller than me or at least as tall as me. She should be at least 5'6" in height para pasok sa banga ng Binibining Pilipinas, pero hindi siya ang sasali, haller? malamang kase overage na siya no. What I wanted really is that if we're given the blessing of a daughter, there'll be greater chances that she's tall at puwede akong maging stage dad pag sasali siya sa mga beauty contests. Frustration ko kasi yun.

Pinagdadasal ko din na sana morena si Stella; Has a nice set of teeth; hindi na kailangang ng make-up baka kasi agawan niya pa ako; may dimples hindi pimples. Wish ko din na sana mahaba ang wavy hair niya na hopefully sa ulo tumutubo at hindi sa pusod. Eeew!

Personality wise, Sana street-smart siya, maabilidad at magaling tumawad sa mga tindera dun sa Divisoria. Doon ko kasi siya laging sasamahan sa pamamalengke. Kung hindi naman kaya ng abilidad o galing niya ang mga wais na tindero't tindera sa Divi, sana lang kayanin ng charm niya.

I hope she's family-oriented too. I'd like it better if she's into outdoor activities like hiking and swimming. Sana malambing, madaldal, at masiyahin siya. Sana wala siyang kiyeme sa PDA at hindi affected na once badeth ang partner niya. Above all, She should also be God-fearing. Hopefully catholic too. I don't want to change my beliefs kasi, and if I had to change my religious beliefs, I will not marry the person that I love. Because the first person that I love is God, who created me. I have my faith and my principles, and these make me who I am. And if that person loves me, she should love my God too. Thank you Shamcey Supsup!

Sana ganyan lahat si Stella, pero dahil nga konsepto ko lang ng "ideal girl" ang inilahad ko, okay lang kahit hindi niya lahat taglay ang mga katangiang iyan. Basta wag lang mawawala sa kanya ang dalawang bagay - Ang katangkaran at kanyang matitindig na boobs. Charot! Deal Breakers actually pag hindi siya makakapamilya at walang takot kay papa J. She has to have faith in Him.

Dahil lumabas na din lang ang word na faith, I believe that that will be the answer as to why I will make do desire her over anyone else. In this day and age where facts and rationality rule,it's good to sometimes forget all that and believe in magic. Faith is magic. There's no need to find the reasons why. It will just happen. I just know it will.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The First Time I Lost My Innocence (Part 3)

Part 1
Part 2

I felt being flushed by one full pail of cold Baguio water with ice upon hearing that voice. Hearing that voice was normally heaven for me, but at that time I didn't want the angel to see me in such an akward position.

I immediately got up and asked her why she was there. Girls weren't allowed to be in any of the boy's rooms "by rule".

I asked permission don't worry. She whispered.

She must have seen that look in my face. She knew I felt worried. But not for being reprimanded by our landlord because of her presence in that restricted area. I was worried she might see Jun naked. Hugging while sleeping between "brothers" was acceptable, but hugging while sleeping naked wasn't. Thank god for the blankets. That-which-should-not-be-seen wasn't seen.

I put on the first basketball shorts and hooded jacket I grabbed,held her waist and Immediately whisked her away from that room.

Over lunch that she prepared for us and her evil witch sister, I ate quietly. Despite her repetitive queries why I had a bluish patch of skin around that small cut and inspite of her attempts at cracking jokes and making me smile, I just shrugged and didn't budge. She asked me if there was a problem. I answered in the affirmative.

Hangover hon. I uttered.

She told me that she'll sneak me inside their room and take care of me there. A good idea, I thought. At least I'd be out of Jun's sight for probably the remainder of the day, or until the next day. That would give me time to think things through.

Her bed smelled different. It was pleasant, had a whiff of lavander. Laying there being taken cared of by my girlfriend was calming. It temporarily hid the confusion I felt that morning. I kept reminding myself that I loved her and that she was everything to me. That helped.

We cuddled, ransacked her sister's stash of junk foods. Her sister could only sigh out of bitterness. We cuddled again. We had a pillow fight. I'd let her pillow hit my head so she could kiss the area affectionately, except the wound of course. Kisses flew all over, and I'd catch every one she blew. She'd nurse my wound with a dripping cotton ball soaked in betadine. She'd blow kisses again. I'd catch them all again. We were so happy.

Just like all the times we dated, it rained again that night. The rain was pounding, its drops were like pieces of pebbles banging against the tin roof of the building, they were like bullets being fired at us. The rain wanted war. I needed peace. That peace I got when Sandra started humming our song as she hugged me tighter and rested her head on my chest.

Minsan pa ulan bumuhos ka, Huwag nang tumigil pa...

I felt so safe. I kissed her hair and I whispered something.

I Love You. Will you stay?

It's as if the rains drowned out the shouting confusion infecting me. Its plea to burst and bring me to perdition fell on deaf ears. Nobody heard it, not even me. For in that moment I could only hear heaven because she was with me. There was nothing to worry about because I was assured that the next morning would come and everything would all be the same.

The dawn arrived and the rain had stopped. Everything and everyone was all the same - Sandra, her evil true sister, Jun, the dormitory, my roomates - except me. However I tried to paint a typical picture of myself I knew deep inside, that behind all this was a damaged facade. I could never be myself again. I was already broken.

The end.

Friday, March 9, 2012


I think this is the longest while that I've had too much time for myself since I stopped attending school ages ago. I'm jobless for more than two months now.

Being unemployed can be very rewarding. I get to sleep however long I want to sleep. I can go visit friends and attend get-together's without worrying about missing a day's work. I now take my time eating meals. I now shower longer. I can also sit all day doing nothing. Being at this stage of idleness, I'm able to think about my past experiences and write about them. It lets me assess my current situation and helps me plan for my future actions.

Lately, I'm beginning to feel the ill effects of lazing around. My budget's already drained. I now ask for money to buy little joys like fishball and barbecues. I can't afford a frapuccino anymore. I'm slowly becoming a prisoner of my own home. I can't go out. I'm stuck.

When you're stuck, the only natural thing to do is to think of ways to get unstuck. For me, the solution is easy, I just need to look for a job, land in one, and viola! problem solved. So, why am I not searching for a new job?

I've got one simple answer: I got cooped up in a very comfortable place. I know I'm stuck but who said that I wanted to get out?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Why Do I Keep On Thinking About This?!

Grace Ibuna, when asked why she "walked out" of the galleries as Alleli Arroyo spoke in congress: I went to the Comfort Room, is that a crime?

Why am I sharing this? Wala lang, I find the reaction funny. I might find it useful too given that what I'm going to write today is about my fancy to get hitched, with a woman, that is. Fancy lang naman, is that a crime?

I might raise a few eyebrows for publicly announcing what I often think about. So what? Again, I ask, Is it a crime?

Is it a crime to sometimes ask for the stars to gift me with a woman capable of sharing forever with a gay guy like me? Is it a crime to sometimes believe that the universe will align every known constellation to give me a destiny who happens to possess a vajayjay? Tell me, is it?


Krimen bang maituturing na sundan ang mga yapak nila Arnel Ignacio, Ogie Diaz at mama Renee Salud? Masama bang ipagdasal na magkaroon ng isang asawa na sintangkad ni Venus Raj, sing ganda ni Anne Curtis at sing talino ni Shamcey Supsup?!


Sorry, may pinagdadaanan lang.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Sangapulo Ken Maysa

Nung tibo pa ako, I remember playing with friends a game called Onse. Variation ito ng basketball, kadalasan namin itong warm up bago maglaro nung hardcore fullcourt bball. Nilalaro din namin ito minsan habang naghihintay makumpleto ang line-up. We just needed to score eleven points on select places along the shaded lane.1 goal=1 point. Ang larong onse ay may sub-variation din. Kapag shooter ang mga kalaban ko, para mapatagal ang laro, ginagawa naming Bente Uno yung winning score. Kapag may pagkamalas naman kami sa pag-shoot or sadyang tanga lang kami talaga, nagiging Syete yung game.

Bakit ko kinukuwento ito? Kasi na-tag na ako. Yey! Salamat LJ! mwah mwah chup chup!

11 Things About Me

1. Ipinanganak at nagkamalay sa bayan ng mga matatapang. Tondo.
2. Never met any blogger except Kokoi.
3. Had 3 GFs, 3 BFs
4. 4 letters ang apelyido ko, 1 lang ang consonant dun.
5. Nurse ng ospital na pinag-anakan sa akin ang nagbigay ng second name ko. Green Water daw ang meaning nito.
6. Naging studio contestant ako ng Who Wants To Be A Millionare nung si papa Boyet pa ang host. Gaspang ng kamay niya. Lalaking lalaki!
7. Naniniwala ako sa multo. Nakakita na kasi ako.
8. I don't wear wristwatches.
9. Despite a 350/350 eyesight, I don't own any spectacles. Contact lenses lang, yung colorless!
10. Hindi ako mahilig manood ng sine. Last movie na napanood ko sa sinehan ay Kimmy Dora, before that, Feng Shui.
11. Insecure ako sa height kong 5'11, okay 5'9...5'6 3/4... 5'6 1/2... 5'6! Grrrr..

Answers to LJ's Questions

Describe yourself using a Science concept.

I believe in the concept of Genetics. Dahil maganda ang nanay ko, maganda din ako. Mana mana lang yan.

How did you handle your last break up?

Nablanko ako. Although I kinda saw it coming already. I just agreed to it kahit walang tanong sa ex kung bakit.

What was the Last video you watched on YOUTUBE?

That episode of The David Letterman Show where Taylor Kitsch was interviewed about his airport experience.

What was your favorite subject in school?

English. Mahirap kasi yung subject. For real.

Anong panget sa maganda at maganda sa panget?

Simple. Privacy. Wala ka niyan pag maganda ka. Sobra sobra naman pag panget ka.

How will you describe your blog to someone who doesn’t have any idea about blogging?

Ang blog ko ay parang isang online diary. I get to write my past experiences, present situation, and future plans.

What are your career goals and what are you doing to achieve them?

I'd like to be a housewife. That's my goal. Maghahanap ako ng isang mayamang DOM para ma-achieve ko ito. Char! Honestly, I don't have a career goal. I just go with the flow and do my job.

Complete the sentence. If I will win 300M pesos on the lottery, the first thing I will do after I claim the money is...

Deposit it in a bank. Sa BDO SM San Lazaro Branch

What is the last topic on Wikipedia that you’ve read?

Hala. Di ko na maalala.

Favorite Walt Disney Character? Why?

Si Rapunzel. Haba kasi ng hair niya. Tumulo kasi ang 0.5mL na luha ko dun sa movie niya na Tangled.

LSS of the moment.

Ngiti, ni Ronnie Liang=)


Please enumerate the 204 sovereign states in the world and their capital cities. Joke lang, ang tanong eh How are you?

Are you still a virgin?

Do you believe in reincarnation?

What is the essence of being gay?

If you could become an animal for 1 day, What animal would you be? Why?

Where is the most beautiful place in the Philippines?

How many friends do you have in facebook?

Which would you rather have, beauty or brains? Explain.

Fight or flight? Bawal ang It depends.

Kung kasali ka sa Survivor Philippines, ano yung 2 essential things na dadalhin mo?

Aside from English and Filipino, do you speak any other languages? Please enumerate if there are any.

Tagged friends:

Kokoi: Sana magpost ka na ulit. Miss ko na si Ayumi
Nevae: Makahanap ka sana ng itatag mo. Hihi
Ternie:Sana makita ko ang response mo.ASAP=)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

The First Time I lost My Innocence (Part 2)

I may have had one too many that night. I remember not talking to anyone anymore when we arrived home. I immediately headed for my bunker. When I saw that my bed was occupied, I tried to squeeze in but our friend was as heavy as a log. So, I jumped over to Jun's bed and hit the sack at once. I didn't know if I had my blanket to keep me warm, never knew if I removed my shoes or changed clothes either.

Then my dreams began.

The sequence was sketchy, and the first thing I remembered was that I heard a commotion and saw a group of strangers bunched around something lying in the middle of the road.

I looked to see around. It was dark. It was cold but it wasn't piercing. I felt a wisp of warm air touching my neck and an arm wrapped around my bare chest. I blinked.

When I opened my eyes, I started walking to where the commotion was. As I came near, it became apparent that the one slumped on the ground wasn't a something, but a someone - a lifeless someone. Something inside was telling me that I knew who the person was. I became uneasy, my heart started to race. I closed my eyes.

When I reopened my eyes. It became dark again. But at that moment, it didn't feel cold anymore. The mild breeze brushing my neck started to move up my chin, then to my lips, and it abruptly stopped. My heartbeat was at its fastest. I was out of breath and grasping for air. It was difficult to move for the arm wrapped around my chest was replaced by a warmer and heavier figure on top of me. I kept my eyes shut.

The anxiety was replaced by fear when I came closer to the unfortunate victim. I couldn't contain the shock when I saw who the victim was. I was right. It was Jun. Tears swelled in my eyes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. As I slowly closed my eyes, the tears fell. I didn't have the strength to open my eyes. I was afraid. The gentle wind caressing me changed to a flaming storm, a fiery tumult that slowly consumed me. The tempest had a silhouette. I couldn't move. The shadow pressed itself against me and encroached my being. I was trapped.

I wanted to shout for me and for my lifeless friend but all that's coming out were only stifled screams of defeat. When everone walked away from us, I mustered enough will to fight the one that beat me. Without notice, I turned over and pinned the figure down. I drew even more strength from the muffled pleas he uttered. I became the master and this soul, my slave. I avenged my loss. I redeemed myself. It was over.

And then I woke up.

As I unclosed my eyes, I saw the rising sun peering through our window. I observed the room, my friends were still all dead drunk and soundly sleeping. I tried to stand but the effects of the alcohol from the night before was still overwhelming. I turned to my side to figure out what my dream's meaning was. I felt cold so I pulled the sheets upto my head, saw Jun's shirtless back and his gleaming set of buns from under the blanket. I was there beside him, completely naked too.

It hit me. It wasn't all a dream.

A flurry of questions crossed my mind. Why did it happen? Why did I let that happen? Was it because of the alcohol? How am I gonna face my girlfriend? What if my roommates saw it? What will they think of me? Am I gay?

I've never felt so confused in my life. I just couldn't make sense of what just happened. No matter how hard I tried to answer every question that came into my mind, questions would just keep piling up. I gave up. It was unbearable.

I was able to find my boxers underneath the sheets. I put it on, ran towards the wall, I mean the kitchen, then puked. The spirit that possessed me the night before might have been so devilishly laughing upon seeing me so disheveled and nursing a small cut to my brow. I cleaned up, took a shower and went back to our room. They were all still sleeping. I curled up beside him. Hugged him and fell asleep. I liked it.

The next thing I felt was him hugging me, a pair of hands pulling my arm and a voice prodding me to get up. It wasn't his, It was Sandra's.

The First Time I lost My Innocence (Part 1)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Ang Kardinal at Ang Artista

Birthday celebration ni tita. Simple lang ang nakahain. Kanin lang at menudo na pinasarap ng mga kuwento't trivia tungkol sa pamilya. May kamag-anak pala kaming member of the clergy. Ang chismis, may isang establishment daw somewhere in the Metro ang ipinangalan sa kanya. Cool di ba? Eto pang isang cool, may relative din pala kaming artista.Marami daw ang nagsasabing she possesses one of the most beautiful faces in Filipino cinema. Heart-Shaped Beauty daw ang lola mo, na lola ko na din kasi pinsang buo siya ng lolo ko. (May they rest in peace)

Akala ko ordinaryong selebrasyon lang ito, pero may isang malaking rebelasyong sinabi sila tita tungkol sa aking lolo na ikinabago ng pagtingin ko sa aking pagkatao. All this time, I thought I was someone which I am not. Kung hindi pala dahil sa selebrasyong ito, my 29-year existence would've been all a lie. Hindi pala ako 12.5% chinese. 18.75% pala. Si lolo kasi mestiso intsik. Ang akala ko kapag mestiso, 50% foreign, 50% local. Yun pala puwedeng 3/4 foreign at 1/4 local. Ang great grandfather ko was pure chinese and my great grandmother pala was half-chinese, half-pinay. That makes my lolo 75% chinese, my dad 37.5% chinese, and me, 18.75%.
Buti na lang hindi nakikita ang ganitong inconsistency sa birth certificate, kundi baka natulad pa ako sa distress na naranasan ni ate Venus sa Bb. Pilipinas.


Kung kilala niyo ang dalawang kamag-anak kong ito, comment na! Dahil ang unang makakapagbigay ng tamang sagot ay may premyo sa akin sa pasko. Seryoso!

Friday, March 2, 2012

The First Time I lost My Innocence (Part 1)

Leslie Jr. or Jun to us his friends, was the first guy I became friends with when I transferred to Baguio. We were roommates. On the first day we met, he asked me if we could play billiards. Since classes wouldn't start until the next day and there was nothing else to do, I obliged. He's originally from La Union but seemed to know a lot of places in Baguio since the location of the billiards hall we played at wasn't the ideal place to have such a business. It was hidden at the back of rows of shoe shops specializing in cowboy boots popular in the city.

We played several rounds of 9-ball. I never won any of the sets we played. I couldn't complain because I got to know him better even if I sat out almost the entirety of the game. He shared his passion for the game we were playing, how he would earn by beating seasoned players from his province and how he would use the prize to buy beer. He talked about his girlfriend, how he appeared to be so proud of the relationship despite the fact that his partner once cheated on him. Like me, he also worked at a public market. He also didn't mind talking about a few of the personal stuff about him like how he came from a broken family or how he thought his prick was larger than others. How that topic came up, I don't know. All I was sure about was I never asked about it and all I did was only listen. All of these things I knew the first time I met him.

After playing billiards, we also walked around downtown Baguio. We went to Burnham Park, ate street food in Harrison and Mabini, window-shopped at the boutiques in Session, and bought some toiletries at Baguio Centermall (SM was not yet around at that time). It was fun and although I did most of the listening in our conversations, I think we hit it off instantly.

Bromance wasn't coined yet during that time and if it were, we would have been the perfect example. We kind of became famous in the dormitory because of our "relationship". A few weeks into our stay in the dormitory, we already shared our food together. We took showers together, so that part about his dick he was bragging about was right after all. We also even slept on a bed together. We could no longer hide everything from each other, We were inseparable. Had it not been for our respective girlfriends, we would've been tagged as fags. We were like siblings. I was the older brother he never had and he was the younger brother I wished I had.

Just like any typical teenaged boys, we both wanted to always have a good time. For me, good time meant partying with friends at a local bar. For him, good time meant partying harder even at the comfort of our own dorm room. It was always easier for us to sneak in booze than to sneak out of the dorm after curfew hours.

Getting drunk became a habit for both of us. Our roommates would in turn make it a habit to pull pranks on us when we're whacked. We'd both wake up the next morning full of permanent ink all over our bodies and faces. There were also times when we'd wake up shivering with all our clothes and blankets missing. Such antics made both of us the adorable and cute resident butt of all jokes.

One time, after a night of beer guzzling, Jun and I arrived home seeing our roommates and another friend from the other room already sleeping. Going by the stale smell of mixed alcohol and nicotine inside the room, it's easy to conclude that these guys were dead drunk too. The guy from the other room was occupying my bed. Sharing a single bed with guys in the dorm is normal, but at that time I couldn't squeeze in my bed because the guy was 6 foot-fat. I could barely move his arms. So, Jun shared his bed with me.

Since all the people inside were all drunk, I thought I could safely sleep and didn't have to worry about anything the next morning. I was wrong. What happened next was something I'll never forget.