Merry Christmas!

This is the first Christmas the family will celebrate without the fancy food and gift-giving. It's past 11 in the morning and si Kuya at Tatay ay tulog pa.

Since single ako, malamig ang pasko at wala kaming handa, 5 oras na akong online at pagala-gala sa virtual world, cruising the "streets" of Facebook, Manjam and Planetromeo.

Then a stranger messaged me advising me to watch Wong Kar Wai's Happy together. According to Wikipedia, this depicts the romance between Ho and Lai. Ako si Lai, feeling ko mas bida siya dito.

Theirs is the story of a pattern of abuse, break-up and reconciliation. Parang kami ni McCoi.

Since Hindi ko pa nga napapanood yung movie, sabi sa Wiki naging haliparot itong si Lai to numb the pain. Parang tulad ng pinagdadaanan ko ngayon.

May isang character dun, si Chang. Hinted lang daw ang kanyang homosexuality sa movie. Parang kilala ko siya sa real life ko. Hindi ko siya katrabaho, I met him on a bus bound for Baguio. From the phone calls he received and made nung katabi ko siya, I could surmise that he's married.

He looks like the younger and leaner version of Aga Muhlach. Ang cute ng dimples niya! Before the bus departed, He asked me where the comfort room was. Either he saw me as someone who works there, or mukha lang talaga akong CR. Sagot ko: "Hindi ko alam pre" Taray lang!

Nung nakasakay na ako sa bus 4 na lang yata ang bakante. I sat just in front of the last row of seats. Wala pa akong katabi. Then he followed. Umupo siya sa likod. Sayang. Then a mother and her tween daughter came. Magkakahiwalay sila ng upuan kase yung isa sa likod at yung katabi kong upuan ang bakante. Then I heard him give up his seat and sat beside me. Heaven! Ako na si Charlene!

The first 2 hours of the trip was uneventful. Ka-text ko friends ko, kausap niya asawa't anak niya. Nung hindi na nagrereply mga kaibigan ko, dinalaw na ako ng antok hanggang sa makatulog ako.

Akala ko nananaginip lang ako. I felt someone caressing my thigh. Hindi ako pumalag. And then the hand moved somewhere private. Dun I realized it wasn't a dream.

Fast forward a bit, we exchanged numbers and vowed to meet again.

I'm saving the continuation of the story after I watch the movie. ko-confirm ko lang kung ang character ni Chang ay appropriate kay Ron - the kinky bus daddy.

For now, I'll just enjoy the soothing carols of my snoring dad and brother.

Merry Christmas!

Hello Tomorrow!

Mahirap magsulat, pero mas mahirap palang di magsulat. Akala ko lilipas ang 2011 ng walang bagong updates sa blog ko.

Nakakatawa, ipapasa na ni Shamcey ang korona niya sa akin pero ang huling post ko eh tungkol pa din kay ate Venus.

What happened really?

I think I just paid a little more attention on other matters that I forgot to do things I love most.

Except for smoking, I stopped almost everything I liked: Writing, Travelling. I quit hitting the gym.

And then sex, too, stopped.

Boom! I’m single.

I got depressed, cried a lot. Punched a few holes into my old room. Became crazy basically (but not literally).

Two years have gone by. I stopped my life for a relationship that I thought wasn’t bound to end. I’m sure it’s forgivable for me to struggle. I’ve moved on, but I’m just still getting back at my feet. Things will be difficult.

Now, I’m starting to travel, gain weight, and pump iron again. I date here (Baguio) and there (Manila), coitus here and there too. Malandi lang. It really is difficult! Hehe.

I still sometimes miss him, but I miss the life I left before him even more.
Mahirap isipin na wala na si McCoi sa buhay ko pero mas mahirap isipin na mawala ang bagay at taong mahal ko kapag nandyan siya. Mahirap magsulat ng mga bagay bagay tulad nito ng may positibong pananaw pero mas mahirap kung hindi ko isusulat ‘to.